Posts Tagged ‘valentine’

The Valentine’s Dog – Don’t Be One!

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Disgruntled Fat Valentine CupidYeah…annual ritual, it’s Valentine’s Day. You know what I’m talking about.  It’s show time! Time to get gussied up and look as good as possible. That means pants with a zipper and a jacket with no zipper. For others guys, it means wishing you had a reason to get dressed up.

But for you, it’s freakin’ judgment day, dude! Either your gut and butt fit in your clothes or they don’t. She is expecting your best today. You coming up short of her expectations, may mean bedroom exile, later on. At the worst, you slide into home. It is what I call being a Valentine’s Dog. I have come up short on expectations on Valentine’s Day and ended up a Valentine’s Pooch. Ouch!

If  you bought new clothes for the occasion this year, you’re probably covered. But for the rest of us, fitting into last year’s clothes is, well…..”a stretch.”  This year, I’ve got most of the situation under control.  I’ve got dinner reservations for 7:00 pm at Baker Hotel in Saint Charles, I’ve got the flowers, and the candy. Oh yes, and THE CARD. (PLEASE, don’t forget the card).

So at the moment, I’m stuffed like a sausage into a large sized black sweater, but feel confident enough to be able to suck in my gut for the entire evening. I am wearing some black pants that are more than snug around the waist. But the overall package looks pretty good. So, I’ve got it covered as much as I can. I’ve been working out and eating the right stuff. But tonight, that really doesn’t matter, does it?  The question is, of course, how do I make sure she is happy tonight?

Well, here is how this is gonna happen tonight.

Listen carefully. It’s going to be, “you look as beautiful as the day I met you,” “these dozen roses are for the love of my life” and “I know you love chocolate, so I bought the ones you like.”  Then I tell her again, how beautiful she looks, tonight. Then guerrilla-like, I borrow a female tactic, and I ask, “do you like how I look tonight?”

This does two things:

1. It is very disarming - let’s be real here, she’s as willing as I am to run across home plate tonight. Right?  So if she really wants to cut me down at the knees, it may be to her disadvantage. Most likely, she’s going to say something nearly complimentary. It’s in her favor. A quote from “The Godfather” comes to mind – “It’s business Sonny, it’s not personal.”

2. It immediately clears the air – if she really has a problem with how I look, here’s her opportunity to say what she has to say. But even if she does say something negative, I can take it…because I asked her opinion. Even so,  she’ll feel better, because I asked her opinion and now she told me. It is out in the open. It’s OK. I’m a diplomat tonight.

This is brilliance. In practice, on “off days” (meaning not a big game night like Valentine’s Day), I have tested this method with great success. I am expecting great things tonight. I hope you get this in time. If not, I would like to hear your Valentine’s Day stories.

Good luck, and don’t get hurt out there.

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